Saturday, June 7, 2008

Response to Dean's call for unity

Dr. Dean:

Nope. You stood by while Hillary and her reputation were besmirched and slandered, stood by while the worst display in my lifetime of misogyny sanctioned by both my (former) party and society took place. And then, overriding the wishes of the voters in MI and FL in this “most exciting primary contest in a generation” (in which, it could be argued, the wishes of the voters are even more important than usual), your party not only refused to penalize Obama for his breaking of the rules by advertising in FL, you took four of Hillary’s earned delegate votes from her and granted him delegates from the uncommitted voters, which delegates should have stayed uncommitted until the convention in August. I have written and called with complaints and never received a response, and I don’t expect to now, but in November perhaps you will pay more attention.

I will not vote for Obama, who has received all the benefit from these tactics, and from the press coverage, and who has indulged in sexist behavior himself. I am no “McCain Democrat”; I grew up in a very liberal household, and I am left of center politically. I am a woman in my thirties with a graduate degree, and am a member of the so-called creative class. But this year the Democratic party will not get my vote, and I am not alone. I will vote Green or abstain, but I will not vote for Obama. I choose to prioritize my principles before my safety. Using “safety” concerns to justify unethical behavior whose goal is to force party loyalty is traditionally a Republican tactic, and I am ashamed that the Democratic Party has seen fit to stoop so low. You’ve lost my loyalty and my respect.

As for your plea for unity, I will not be a member of a family which takes me for granted, feels it appropriate to treat with disdain and contempt, and then tells me I have to tow the party line. I have better boundaries than that. Your kind words for Hillary now, in this moment when you have discovered that you need her supporters, are too little, too late. If you don’t have the grace even to apology and to acknowledge the reality of what happened during this campaign, you don’t deserve my support. No real apology has ever been offered, and this year’s season has set us back in terms of what is considered acceptable treatment of women. You should be ashamed of your duplicity. Obama will lose, and the blame will be laid squarely (if not completely) at the feet of the DNC and the party leadership.

With total sincerity,

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

In response to Obama supporters' insistence that we need to "heal", ie, come back to the fold...

I know you're trying to be sympathetic and understanding, and I know that to you your point makes sense. But to those of us who feel that the nomination has been literally stolen from our candidate, it's cold comfort at best.

Fairly or not, Obama is being negatively impacted by the incredible hatred spewed by members of the media. I have friends who counter my argument by saying that Hillary didn't speak out against the racism. But, and this is a big difference, racism wasn't spewed at Obama by the MSM. I will never claim that racism is gone from the country, nor that it doesn't exist in some of the hearts and minds of some Hillary supporters. But OMG, I have literally only talked with TWO Obama supporters over the past months who were not condescending, sexist, or mean to me. And I can take care of myself.

In Dallas, some black men driving by visibility sites I was at flipped Hillary supporters off. I would NEVER do that to Obama volunteers. We saw people being lied to at the polling place in the precinct we were canvassing. This campaign has made me sick to my stomach. I've cried myself to sleep on more than one occasion.

Yes, we need to heal, but equating healing with coming back to the fold is naive. For me and for so many others, healing is standing up and saying that we will not compromise our principles for our safety. We are saying that we cannot and will not condone the treatment that Hillary and many of her supporters have received. For many of us, it is the first time in our lives we've been willing and able to resist the incredible societal pressure to do what's good for the team, to put ourselves and our needs first. To say, no, that is not right, and I will not reward it.

So, this is for all the times I've been harassed, mistreated, disrespected. All the times I've been hollered at on the street just because I happen to have a large bust. All the times someone has touched me against my will. All the times I've had to fight and fight and fight to have my voice heard. All the times that I've been cut socially by women who are more interested in impressing the guys than in cultivating friendships. All the times that I've been sworn at. All the times I've been physically intimidated by men. It's for my friends who have been raped and told it was their fault. It's for all the women who've been passed up for promotion in favor of some guy they've trained. It's for the women who still earn between 56 and 78 cents on the dollar that men earn, whose families suffer in consequence. etc, etc, etc.

There has to be a place where we stop and say, sorry, the consequences may be grave, but the consequences of silence and tacit permission are more grave. If we allow ourselves to be called b**ch, c**t, w***e, etc on TV, the we contribute to the atmosphere in which 1 out of every 3 women is assaulted in her lifetime. If we say it's ok that a major political figure calls us sweetie then we allow the environment in which women are subject to harassment and discrimination in the workplace to continue. WE MUST SAY NO.

This is not hatred of you or your values. This is a necessary step for us to take care of ourselves. If we keep backing up and backing up, we have only ourselves to blame. If we get McCain in the fall, well, that's a consequence. And Obama completely failed to take leadership during the campaign, and we will not give him a pass for that.

Believe me, I wish it weren't so. But it is. If some guy I didn't know leaned up against me and joked about his vibrating cell phone, called me sweetie, etc, I would be enraged. And so would my friends, family, and husband. IT IS NOT OK.

I will not vote for Obama. And I am politically and socially left of him. I will support the Green party, since I can't write Hillary in in WA.I will heal, because I will stand tall, and I will rejoice in Hillary's strength and my own. To that end, I donated another $75 to Hillary's campaign through HLF's website today.

Onward and upward.